


The Upper Hand

by MBDoodles



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: And Then Some, Canon Dialogue, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Gentleness, Gift Giving, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Surprises, YA, idk what to tag man, soft kiss, sorta - Freeform, these two are idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MBDoodles/pseuds/MBDoodles
Summary: This is gonna be like collection I suppose? I'm just exploring their dynamic, hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Brilliant Isn't It?

**Author's Note:**

> Jalleran is normally a confident flirt, but having the confidence returned makes him falter.

Jalleran gave himself time alone in his new quarters. Skyhold was definitely a safer place, but the large bedroom they gave him made him feel… isolated and uneasy. He needed the alone time currently, however, the recent disaster of Haven was burned in his mind. He had swapped words with Josephine and Varric since they always helped him relax, and even the Champion of Kirkwall shared quips with him that made him smile. Everything felt so heavy and impossible right now that a few sarcastic comments made his day a bit brighter. Made the world seem less awful.  
More than anything, he missed his clan. Maybe no one would realize he was gone if he went in the Hinterlands or the Emerald Graves alone to just be with himself and nature. Not that those places were particularly safe but it would be nice… He sighed aloud, knowing full well it would never work. And he'd probably get himself killed.

He resigned himself to face reality, a fancy room in a castle in the mountains. The complete opposite of anything he was comfortable with. He needed to get his mind off things. He was sure his companions had something to say about the situation. Solas could offer some peace through his journeys, or Iron Bull could give him a story about dragons.

Then…  
His mind then went to Dorian. The sparkling mage who had quite an entrance into his life. If the fade rift in the Chantry wasn't enough, they somehow got dragged through time together. Quite a meeting indeed. He recalls their small time in Haven together, he had prodded the man about Tevinter and his life. And oh…

Yes he had flirted with him too.. One of the smoother moments of his career and-- the man had the absolute GALL to flirt back. So spontaneously and just as smooth. How in the hell could someone else match his forward-ness so cleanly? Absolutely atrocious.  
Still. It hadn't stopped him from trying to get the upper hand in that regard. He was never successful.

He needed to try again.

Jalleran made his way out of his little isolated world, back into the entrance where nobles chatted around the dining tables.  
The snooty Orlesians in the throne room made him chuckle at their gossip as he passed, chit chatting about the true power of the Inquisition. It was hard for him to believe he was about to lead everyone through this, but it had to be done.

He nodded at Varric and Solas as he passed, making his way slowly up the stairs to the library where Dorian said he'd make his chambers. His mind seemed to hiccup at what he was going to say to the man, his confidence beginning to falter. So infuriating how that happened around ONLY Dorian. No one else. He could make a man crumble before him with his words, yet Dorian could hold his ground so EASILY. Maybe he should start with--

"Brilliant isn't it?" 

Dorian's words cut off his train of thought, not even realizing he had made it to the top of the stairs where the non-magister had resided. A glance up to look at the man, and Jall could feel his face beginning to warm up. Shit… this man had no right to be this infatuating.

"One moment you're trying to restore order in a world gone mad. That's enough for anyone to handle yes? Then, out of nowhere, an Archdemon appears and kicks you in the head! 'What! You thought this would be easy?'"

That made Jalleran snort, gaining a glance in his direction by the man himself. A smile was fighting to get to his face but he wasn't about to let it. Dorian smirked at him as he continued. Actually smirked. He was going to be done for.

"'No I just hoped you wouldn't crush our village like an anthill!' 'Sorry about that, Archdemons like to crush things. Can't be helped'"

He practically giggled at Dorian, though he tried to hide it as he covered his mouth and tried to focus on other things now to keep the blush from creating up his neck. Yes other things, like the bookshelves, the papers strewn about, Dorian's hair--  
His mind hiccuped yet again at that thought, not realizing he was now staring at the other man. Jall's eyes practically wandered quickly up and down Dorian's figure, admiring his clothes. All the buckles, how clean and confident he was, how he-- Ugh, dammit, focus!

"Am I… speaking too quickly for you?" Dorian hummed this, quirking an eyebrow at the elf before him. Jall was caught, and he had no way to hide it. Damn, this was a rough start…

"Sorry I was-- distracted" Jalleran clears his throat at the attempt at a recovery. It wasn't the best, but his mind was spinning so much at the conflicting thoughts.

"Distracted..?" Dorian chuckled, his silky smooth voice hitting the Elven inquisitor like a wave, "By my wit and charm? I have plenty of both."

Oh he had no idea. Well actually he did.

"Among other things, yes." Good that was good. Jalleran added a charming smile to seal the deal. Perfect, keep going, "I could make a list of the things I admire about you"

Dorian didn't even blush, only laughed. Smiling back at him, "Oh please do share that with me when you can actually finish it without blushing furiously, yes?"

Shit. He got him there, and it only made him blush all over again. Dammit, this was going atrociously, wasn't it??

"How.. interesting to find a man so aware of his strengths." He got himself to relax again. Deep breathes Jalleran..

"I'm a man of many talents. What can I say?" He smirks again at Jall's reaction. 

The Inquisitor wanted to jump out the window, but thankfully the conversation continued normally after that. Focusing on the situation at hand instead of how terrible Jall was at this. Except he WASN'T terrible. He really wasn't but with DORIAN he was. How the man made him so happy and so infuriated at the same time was only known by the Maker himself.

As their conversation seemed to come to a close, Dorian began walking away smiling back at him for a second to say, "Oh and congratulations on the whole leading the Inquisition thing" and he was off to the other side of the library.  
Jall leaned back against the stone wall and sighed, looking away from where Dorian was picking at some more books.

He really had to stop letting Dorian get the upper hand.


	2. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jalleran tries to surprise Dorian. It doesn't go how he thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got way longer than I first intended by oh wellll my bad.  
> I rushed it a bit at the end, but it is still nice to explore. Drabbles like these are very fun even if I don't know how to write >.>

The day was definitely holding little interest to Inquisitor Jalleran today. Nothing particularly interesting or important. After a trip back from the Wester Approach, he knew that a break was well deserved after dealing with the desert but he was itching to do something useful. He had resorted to chit chatting at the bar with Bull and his chargers, having nothing productive to do.

He hated when he felt like this, so heavy and worthless. The drink in his hand that Bull poured for him was barely touched as he tried to keep up with the conversation. His mind raced with possibilities of work, considering his few options. He could check on the recruits personally, it might boost morale to have his presence there. He could see if Vivienne needed anymore help with her progress on rebuilding the Circle. Maybe Josephine needed help with diplomatic invoices, he was always happy to help with that. 

Iron Bull shook him out of his deep spiral with an elbow nudge and he looked up to see Bull was giving him an expectant eyebrow raise. He realized he had missed a question, clearing his throat awkwardly, “Sorry, Bull, what did you say?”

The Iron Bull chuckled gently at him, chugging down the rest of his drink, “Nothing, it doesn’t matter. You alright, boss?”

Jall scratched at his scalp idly in contemplation, finally sighing and his shoulders slumped in a show of the weight on his chest, “I.. I don’t know. I just wish I was doing something productive, I guess..” He confessed, nursing at the terrible tasting ale in his hand to avoid eye contact with Bull.

“We just got back from kicking ass in the desert, and you wanna keep working? I think you need a break, boss” Bull’s voice was laced with his usual friendly concern. It helped Jalleran relax, at least a little bit.

“It doesn’t feel like I do.. I want to do something more” 

“If you really want to, I saw your spymaster looking pretty anxious earlier. Well, as much as you could tell from her usual expressions anyway. Hard to read that red-head,” Bull chuckled, “Maybe check with her for work or.. Yeah” He smiled to try and comfort the Inquisitor.

It worked, to an extent. The prospect of Bull’s words made Jalleran sit up quickly, “Oh! Yeah, maybe, I’ll have to check up on her. Thanks for the drink, Bull” He nodded before turning and leaving the tavern in a haste. A man on a mission. He hoped Bull’s observations were true.. Anything to get off his ass.

Through his journey to the top of the tower to see his spymaster, he smiled and waved to Dorian as he normally would. A quick glance to check for a response, and he saw the Tevinter man completely engrossed in a letter he was holding and didn’t even notice The Inquisitor’s pass by. Jall continued up the tower, ignoring the aching curiosity he normally had with his companions, and focused on what he should be doing. He would talk to Dorian later..

Before he could greet Leliana, she was already meeting him halfway as he reached the top of the floor, looking slightly relieved.

“Inquisitor, I’ve been looking for you. I have some information I thought you’d like to know about”

“Straight to the point then I see” Jall chuckled at her, taking a couple reports she had begun handing to him, “What is this about?” 

“In summary, my agents saw Dorian dealing with a merchant outside of Skyhold’s courtyard. I wanted to bring it to your intention to prepare for the worst case scenario of what the deal could be, but I believe it’s innocent enough. He is apparently looking for his family’s amulet, though he had sold it months ago. You are.. Close to him, yes?”

Jall’s throat seemed to have a lump in it at the question. He wasn’t sure what to say, he did consider himself close with the fellow mage, but.. He wasn’t sure how close they really were. They shared a couple kisses, have shown their affections for the other in small gestures and words, but.. Nothing else seemed to progress things. It was.. As if the first two weeks of affection had dissipated into a dream. He really wasn’t sure where they stood, and having never done this properly before.. He didn’t know what to do.

“I.. suppose you could say that. Uh, do you have an idea where this merchant ended up?” Jall finally responded after a brief moment of wondering.

“Yes, Inquisitor. The merchant usually makes dealings in Val Royeaux if you’d like to seek him out. From our interception, he’s been denying Dorian’s requests for about a week.” Leliana smiled at him gently, pointing at some specific information on the report, “Good luck”

He nodded in acknowledgement before turning away to sitting down at one of the tables to mull over the situation. He wasn’t quite sure if he was in a place to butt into this whole dilemma but.. On the other hand, he wanted to do something nice for Dorian. A gesture of sorts, that’s what you would do for someone you care about, yes? He thought that was the case… Josephine always talked about all the grand gestures Orlesian’s and Antivan’s would do for the ones they loved and felt a commitment to. He wanted to be that kind of man. The one that showed he wanted more. He wanted to make Dorian happy.

That seemed to settle it in his mind. He would surprise Dorian! Bring him to the merchant and make a deal for him. He was sure his title would give them leverage enough to make a quick transaction. Yes, he liked this more and more!

Smiling to himself, he made his way back down the tower, rolling the reports up in his hand to avoid any peeking from passersby. He stopped next to Dorian who had discarded the letter from before, psyching himself up enough to place a quick kiss on the man’s cheek before speaking, “We’re taking a trip to Val Royeaux for some supplies. You in?” He asked quickly, he was already excited.

Dorian chuckled at elf’s sudden appearance and forwardness, the earlier stress momentarily draining from his expression to regard his current admirer, “Sounds delightful. Glad you aren’t dragging me to a desert like you did the others,”

“Oh I’d never do that to you, of course.” That was a lie, he would definitely do that. He liked having Dorian along for missions. The comical mage always lifted his spirits with his comments on even simple things like the weather being 2 degrees too warm for comfort.

“Of course not,” Dorian simply said, smiling at the other, “I’ll get ready then”

Jall nodded, taking his leave to tell Bull and Varric to get ready as well. He considered only taking Dorian would be too suspicious. He’d tell Bull and Varric the plan so they can stay off the side when they reach the merchant. Having his two closest friends there would help his confidence anyway. This would be a much more interesting time than he thought it would be this week.

\------------

The trip to Orlais was tediously slow. He usually enjoyed the peace of horseback riding with his companions, but knowing what they were heading towards made him smile ever so often. Dorian didn’t seem to notice his more upbeat attitude, which was good. That means he wasn’t going to ask questions besides the occasional pleasantries. 

Then finally, FINALLY, the group made it to the entrance of Val Royeaux. He winked casually at Varric and Bull who only chuckled together at him. He knew this was laughable about how excited he was, but he didn’t care. This was sure to be great!

He led his companions around town, admiring the new items that the merchants were displaying on their tables, or advertising at their doors. Though this place usually made him uncomfortable for how lively it was, he found solace in knowing his goal. He wanted to see Dorian smile at the surprise and find he can barely formulate words in his shock. That warm feeling Dorian always seemed to give him, he wanted to give back. 

The feeling that someone cares to pay attention..

Iron Bull and Varric had discreetly moved away from the two others to admire a vendor’s goods. Jalleran saw the glint in their eyes as they looked at him before leaving, knowing he had their support and their inevitable teasing for later. He didn’t mind.

He led Dorian across the courtyard, the other mage looking at him curiously, “You seem to have a place in mind. Are you bringing me out for lunch?” He smiled incredulously at the prospect as they passed by the popular restaurant.

“Not quite. Something much better, I swear!” Jall smiled, leading him further into the city to meet the merchant under a shaded spot. He almost stiffened up as he saw Dorian’s face fall as he saw the merchant.

“Ah Inquisitor, what are you--”

“Inquisitor! Good, good, this is EXACTLY what I was hoping for!” The merchant hummed, opening his arms up in welcome as the two men approached, looking very happy.  
“Is THAT why we’re here?” Dorian stared in disbelief at the merchant, “How do you even know about the amulet? I hope you aren’t intending on helping me get it back. I can do this myself”

Jall glanced over to meet Dorian’s eyes, only to see a cold glare stare right back at him. It punched right into his heart, but he cleared his throat to gain his composure.

“I apologize, but that won’t be possible..” The merchant chimed in. This man was going to be more tricky than he hoped.

The merchant went on with his explanation on the intent for having the amulet, and what he would accept for a price. An invitation to some affair, of course. Jalleran internally sighed at the whole situation. But he wasn’t going to give up!

“What do you think about the arrangement, Dorian?” He looked up at the man hopefully, waiting for that long awaited happiness at the gift to spring to life in his eyes.

But it never came.

“Leave the man be. I got myself into this, I’ll get myself out.” Dorian spat, frustration tightening his features as he said so.

“Perhaps you should accept your friend’s help, Monsieur” Once again the merchant interjected, obviously wanting to turn the decision in his favor.

“Kaffas! I know what YOU think!” Dorian scowled, his fists clenching at his sides. Jall wanted to recoil away from the emotion, hating that he made Dorian this upset unintentionally. This is all his fault he shouldn’t have--

“And he’s not my friend! He’s--” They locked eyes, a brief second that made the world feel like it was falling from under Jall, “Nevermind what he is..”

Dorian’s words crashed over him again and again in his head, making him dizzy and unfocused for the Merchant’s response. He felt emotions rising behind his eyes as he began overthinking in the span of 3 seconds. Not his friend? What did he mean they weren’t friends? At all? He thought they were at the very least friends, even if the affection had disappeared.. He didn’t understand he--

“Well what do you say, Inquisitor?” The merchant bent down to catch his eyes in curiosity. Jallen had to blink a few times before straightening up again.

He tried to keep his voice level through all the confusion he felt, all the swirling grief, “That will be.. Doable. I’ll have it arranged as soon as I can.”

He didn’t wait for a response from the Merchant, only turning away to leave the situation so to speak, as if he could so easily run away from it all and none of it would follow him. As he walks away from the merchant, he feels Dorian at his heels before the other mage speaks to him.

“What are you doing? You’re going to give into this cretin!” Dorian spat at him, his attitude like venom that burned Jalleran’s eyes and ripped his heart in two. He couldn’t take it, he just wanted to help and yet all of this was wrong, it didn’t make sense, he wanted to fix it but Dorian was pestering him for an answer by tugging at his coat and--

“Do you want your amulet or not?!” Jall shouted back at him, his eyes finally releasing the tears that had been stinging at his eyes insistently. They fell down his cheeks and blurred his vision, but through it all he could see the shock on Dorian’s face. The disbelief as he took a couple steps back from him made Jalleran’s shoulder slump.

“I-I do.. I simply don't want to be indebted to you. I don’t want to be indebted to anyone!” Dorian reached forward towards Jall, intent on helping clean the tears off his cheeks. Before he could get close, Jall turned away and walked ahead. His knees felt like they were giving out as he made his way to the entrance of the city.

“Hey Inquisitor, you doing okay?” Varric came up next to him, his hand reaching up to pat at his arm to get his attention. It took Jall a second before he glanced down at him and simply shook his head.

Varric turned to see Iron Bull glaring and speaking sternly at Dorian. The mage in question was looking after Jalleran with a trace amount of worry. Varric sighed at this and stayed next to the Inquisitor as they made their way back to their horses, speaking softly to his friend, “Listen, things will work out. They always do for you, right?” He tried a smile towards his leader.

It did make Jalleran chuckle a bit, wiping away his tears as he did, “Yeah.. I guess you’re right..” He didn’t entirely agree, but having Varric try to cheer him up at all was nice. He didn’t dare look back at Dorian and he got onto his horse and started to go ahead of the group, knowing they would do well to follow him. He felt so empty… and had no idea how to solve this. He thought about the sheer frustration in Dorian’s eyes, the disdain for what Jall had tried to do.

He couldn’t take it. His shoulders shook as the tears welled up all over again and fell down onto his saddle, wondering if he could ever fix things after disappointing Dorian like that. He knew in the back of his mind that he was overreacting, but nothing seemed to distract him completely from the pain in his chest.

\----

Only a week. But what felt like a very long week. Only a week since Jalleran’s attempt at a gift to Dorian. Josephine had been able to arrange an invitation fairly quickly for the merchant, and Jall had told her to deliver the amulet straight to Dorian for him. He knew he had been ignoring his duties for far too long, and he swore he was almost ready to return but he had one more thing he wanted to do. He wanted to write a note for Dorian, something to be delivered by a scout explaining things. Despite his constant disposition that he was confident with his affections he… never thought he’d ever get this far with someone.

Which was saying something since Dorian would probably tell him they were barely anywhere.

He had woken up early to start writing, knowing it would take him time to articulate what he wanted to say to the other man. Nothing seemed to perfectly tell what he was feeling, what he desperately wanted to admit but he didn’t know if it was the right time or the right way.

After hours of disposed drafts and broken quills, he put a period on his last sentence. The words felt shaky at best, but his mind was going in too many different directions for him to want to try and fix anything about it. Did it sound right at all even? 

He stood up from his desk in the corner of his bedroom and began pacing around with the note in his hand, taking deep breaths as he read it over and over in his head. After several minutes, he had gone over it so much that he began to say it out loud to try and get a better grasp of it.

“‘My Dearest Dorian’ shit is that too much? Maybe I’ll change that too..” He sighed and continued:

“ ‘The recent situation I made you go through was entirely my fault, and I’d like to first and foremost apologize. I’m not good at this, I’ve never done anything like this before. As for what “this” is I’m not sure. What I know is I’d like it to be more. I have no idea if that is something I’m in a place to be asking for but with everything that has been thrown in my direction, whatever we have has felt like the start of something I’ll never have a chance to get again.. If you would just..’”

He stuttered a bit at the end, stopping completely and sighing as the words felt heavy. Staring at the page, he felt the world on his shoulder. He shouldn’t even be doing this, he was really in no position to be selfish. Cassandra had told him how important he was to Thedas, to the Inquisition, how he was a symbol for everyone. He couldn’t just go after something while so much was going on. He couldn’t just--

He tensed up as a hand reached around and held onto his own, gripping the paper with him. He turned around quickly to face Dorian, who had a small frown on his face, but other than that Jall couldn’t read his features for what he could be thinking.

“Dorian? Wh-when did you come in? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.. Did you--?” 

“For such an important leader, you’re an awful sap aren’t you..?” Dorian tried to turn his face to his usual smile, gently pulling the letter from his hands.

Jall reached to snatch it, successfully doing so and holding it to his chest, “No no it’s not even done, I-I can’t believe you heard it all! Listen, Dorian, I’m sorry for what happened, I didn’t realize the gift would cause you stress, I wouldn’t have even gone through with it if I knew!” Jall frowned, searching Dorian’s gaze.

Dorian sighed, “Inquisitor, please, I came here to apologize to you. Don’t turn this around it. I’m a terrible ass at accepting gifts, and I..” He pulled out the amulet in question, staring down at it fondly, “I thank you for doing it… It’s nice to have the bloody thing back”

“Then you.. You aren’t upset?” Jall sounded surprised, thinking for the past week he had royally fucked up everything.

“Upset?” Dorian chuckles softly as he looks back at him. Instead of answering, he leans forward and catches Jall’s lips in a gentle kiss. The Inquisitor tensed up at the sudden gesture, only to melt into it slowly and return it, dropping the forgotten letter and wrapping his arms around Dorian’s shoulders. He missed this, being so close, how gentle Dorian was when he wanted to be. 

Before Jall could get lost in the kiss, Dorian pulled away to look at him,”No. I’m not upset~” He hummed, looking smug to see Jall’s face getting red from warmth.

Jalleran smiled back at the man, his muscles relaxing completely, “I’m glad… Does this mean… You’d like to try uh.. This? Is that how you ask that?” He quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

Dorian laughed at him, moving forward to peck his forehead, then moved down to his nose, making Jall almost snort with him, “Of course, though I hope you’re prepared. I require at least 30 minutes of your time a day”

The Inquisitor did snort this time, wondering how he could POSSIBLY make that much time in his schedule. Truly it would be a challenge to work it in.

Tears began to fill his eyes all over again as he smiled with pure joy, hugging Dorian close to him, as Dorian sputtered at him to not cry and wiped away his tears. 

“I think I can work with that”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jall is doing his best.


	3. Violin Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jalleran is crap on the violin

Quiet time in the library never seemed to last more than 2 hours in this damn place. He loved that man, he really did, but when he heard the heavy footsteps and the knocking around of strings as the Inquisitor ran up the stairs to him, he knew he was done for. Perhaps he could slip away, run right now, RIGHT NOW.

“Dorian!!” Jalleran called out as he reached the library, jogging over to him with a violin and bow in hand, looking excited. Damn it all that Dorian loved this man.

“Amatus, what do I owe the pleasure of your appearance?” He smiled at the elf. He didn’t really need to ask. The way Jall’s hands were shaking with his emotions was telling enough that he wanted to play whatever he thinks he learned on that dastardly instrument.

The universe was ready to prove Dorian right as Jalleran lifted his violin to his shoulder in preparation, smiling with that dumb grin that Dorian unfortunately loves, “I’ve been practicing whenever I could and I think I finally have this song down!” Jall put his bow to the strings, raising an eyebrow at Dorian as if to ask for permission.

As if Dorian would ever say no.

“How delightful, go on then” The man chuckled, sitting down in his chair to watch the Inquisitor. 

He almost regretted that as Jalleran immediately started playing. The strings screeched with protest as he tried to fumble through a song. It burned Dorian’s ears, as if a demon was trying to tear his senses away. The sound echoed throughout the chamber, and with a quick glance through the railing, he could see Solas down below leaving his study as he held his pointed ears.

Honestly, Dorian felt like his ears could start bleeding at this rate, yet he stood rigid in concentration as he watched the elf play. He thinks it was one of the bard’s songs from the tavern. He thinks. He couldn’t quite tell as the sound was ear piercing. His amatus looked so happy, and that was good enough for him.

It would be the death of him though, he knew it.

As the attempt at a song came to an end, and the ravens above began to calm down from the noise, Dorian smiled gently at the Inquisitor as he stood up from his seat, “Quite a show, Amatus, you’ve been practicing.”

Jalleran hugged the man immediately, smiling so big that it was almost like the world wasn’t crumbling around everyone. Right now it wasn’t.

He embraced the elf before him, though sighed dramatically as he did, “If you are going to do this every time I compliment you, we’ll never get anywhere”

Jalleran chuckled, pulling away from him, “Have I told you I’ve never played an instrument before the Inquisition?”

“No. You must be joking, yes? With that raw talent?” He felt like he was talking to a child, but it was obvious enough that Jalleran shoved him away at it.

“Oh quiet, at least you’re man enough to listen to it! I know I’m not the best, but no one’s going to stop me anytime soon” He snickered, crossing his arms.

“Why there’s the Inquisitor I know. Maybe you can defeat Corypheus with that instrument. Play a tune and he’ll be so moved that we’ll watch him scurry away with his red lyrium between his legs” Dorian quipped back.

“You say that like I wouldn’t try”


	4. The Winter Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jalleran survives the winter palace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes WAYYYYYY longer than I thought it would but I had fun. It's the little moments that count.

Orlais was something Jalleran wasn’t even aware existed until the Inquisition. He wasn’t even sure he understood it at all when they went to Val Royeaux the first time. Even convincing the merchant there to give Dorian back his amulet was confusing despite his seemingly capability to negotiate. Growing up in the wilderness of the Free Marches didn’t lead to much knowledge of formalities or etiquette. Everything about nobility confused him, why they felt it was necessary to dress up and act high and mighty to those they deemed below them. For example, well, himself.

Ironic considering he was in a relationship with Dorian.

He had expressed his uncomfortable feelings to him, and thankfully the man had been understanding and gentle in his attempt to teach him how he should act during these parties. 

“Wait, they have five different versions of a fork??” Jalleran had said as he was practicing with table etiquette.

“Would it pain you to hear that they also have five different spoons, my dear?” 

Dorian had been smiling with amusement the whole time as he watched Jalleran try to remember what each type was for and what he should eat it with. But he was very patient to answer his questions whenever he had one. The basics of nobility etiquette seems easy enough once he got the hang of it. He supposed it was easier to eat the soup Skyhold served with a spoon rather than trying to pick up the bowl.

But his confidence was shattered when Josephine and Leliana discussed the aspects of “The Game” with him, and the fact they had to intervene with the goddamn assasination of the Empress. He wasn’t surprised that they would, he was just dreading it.

Josephine had even taken him aside to gently explain to him the fragility of The Game, how everything he did would be watched and judged. It definitely didn’t make him feel any better, but the way Josie went through it with him and gave him pointers of how to appear smooth and reserved made him relax.

“You will do fine, Inquisitor, I will be there beside you the whole time. You can always give me a signal if the court is making it difficult for you. You’d be surprised how quickly I can change the subject” She smiled gleefully.

“I don’t think I would be actually, Josephine” He had smiled back. She squeezed his arm in comfort and went back to her duties.

It definitely was a comfort to hear her support, he would owe her a day off if she would agree. That would be tricky…

With the date of their departure fast approaching, he felt like the anxiousness was eating him alive. He did his best to keep busy and on top of things, but overthinking things was his speciality and right now he could get a medal for it. 

He was conversing with Cullen and Leliana about their plans to keep troops around the palace a secret in case of any disturbances or larger fights. Leliana wanted to keep spies everywhere, of course, and Jalleran was okay with that. His mind was beginning to wander as he went through his own plan of what to do. Josephine had set it was all just posturing and politeness, making sure to keep face and suck up to them. It was a party, and that meant there was a possibility he would be asked to dance. Dance.. Wait, did he know how to dance? At all?? No no no--

“.. and once we secure our agents, we’ll make our way into the palace where-- Inquisitor????” Leliana stopped her sentence as she watched Jalleran dash out of the room in a sudden panic. He didn’t care about the conversation anymore, this was important. 

He ran straight into the main hall and weaved into the library. He had caught a quick glance of bafflement as Varric watched him dash past, and the remnants of a “Whoa, is the library on fire?” before he ran up the stairs, skipping every other one in his haste.

“DORIAN” He called as he got to the top and kept running. The man in question stopped him suddenly by planting his hands on Jall’s shoulders, a look of unwavering concern plastered on his face as he looked at the elf.

“Whatever is the matter, Inquisitor? You look like you just saw Corypheus dancing with the Divine” He mused, trying to calm Jalleran down.

“I don’t know how to dance!” He finally said after a few moments of panicked breathing. He held onto Dorian’s hands as they relaxed, gripping tightly, “I just realized that I have no idea how to dance with anyone! They’re going to ask me to, I know it! What if I just fall or have to refuse or--”

“My dear, calm down...” Dorian soothed as he placed a finger on his mouth to quiet his babbling, “It’ll be fine, we have time. They aren’t going to come barging in right now begging you to dance with them, are they?”

Jall took a deep breath then shook his head, “No I suppose not..”

He pouted in embarrassment as Dorian kissed his forehead gently. He had stopped shaking enough to look at the man again, “Will you show me then?”

Dorian chuckled at him and already began pulling him away from the library, “It’s ridiculous that you even have to ask me.”

That was that then. The other mage had pulled him into his quarters where there was ample space and privacy for Jalleran to practice without having to be embarrassed about people watching him. He tried to calm his nerves about the dance as Dorian pulled back towards his body.

“Now then, it’s all quite simple…” Dorian began, guiding Jall’s hand to his waist and then holding the other one, “I’d imagine they won’t make you do anything complicated.”

“I hope so.. I don’t think I’d survive. You’d have to tell the story of the Inquisitor dying at the hands of Orlesian dances” He chidded.

His reward was that wonderful smirk Dorian wore when he was amused, his head tilted just so as he chuckled, “As if I’d let the Orleasian’s have you”

They went through the steps, the sways, the movements, as Dorian held onto him to lead him through it. It wasn’t too difficult, except that Jalleran kept tripping over himself. Thankfully Dorian was always prepared and would pull him back to balance before simply smiling and continuing. 

He was getting it down, and was even smiling as they went through the dance one more time to ensure his memory. What he didn’t expect was when they came to the end of the steps and Dorian pulled him into a dip, holding onto his back to keep him from falling as he stared down at him, “See? Simple as that” He hummed.

“Don’t tell me I have to do this to a noble” He grimaced as he held onto Dorian’s shoulders.

He laughed at that, slowly pulling him back up to his feet, remaining only a few inches away, “Oh if you did, they’d be damned lucky to have you in a dance at all, my dear”

Jalleran snorted, responding only by leaning forward and capturing Dorian’s lips in a much needed kiss. 

He felt ready to take those nobles for a run already.

\-----

He was wrong, he was very very wrong about being ready. He wasn’t ready.

The day had come, he had ridden into the Winter Palace and walked through the main gate only to feel the court’s disapproval already. Not only was he an elf, but also he was a mage, and he could already feel the anxiety pooling like a rock in the pit of his stomach. He tried to smile gently at the noble’s as he entered, keeping a good posture and speaking briskly with Gaspard, but he was already exhausted. 

There had to be something here that had some clue on who the assassin was! With that thought, he snooped around the different rooms outside the palace, ignoring the questioning looks as he sneaked away to darkened corners and balconies where no one was in order to find something.There wasn’t anything terribly important, but Leliana would definitely enjoy some of these letters he found about the nobles.

As he walked into the gate to join the palace, he was approached by an exasperated Josephine. Well if he didn’t know her better, she looked perfectly happy and polite as she addressed him but he could see the weight was already bearing down on her shoulders since he didn’t exactly bring company that was entirely appropriate for Orlais.

“Inquisitor, you’re doing fantastic so far. I understand trying to find evidence but at least try to make it more discreet! One noble was staring right at you as you pulled that halla statue from the plant!” She huffed, and Jalleran felt like she should be wagging her finger at him in disappointment.

“Sorry, Josephine, I’ll do my best.” He chuckled gently, keeping his same straight posture, “Though I’m not sure how long I can stand up this straight”

“Hang in there, Inquisitor, I promise this will be over before you know it.” She smiles with an attempt at comfort, “We have to keep up appearances and appear dignified to the court or else we might not be able to do what we need to do.”

“Might want to run that past Iron Bull. He’s already eaten a whole tray of finger food in the courtyard that was being passed around and laughed at some noble who was talking about their shoes being too tight.” Jalleran gave her his own pained smile.

“I’ll have a few discreet words”

He wasn’t sure where the rest of his companions had gone off to, but he saw Varric in the vestibule acting like the fancy garb wasn’t scratchy on his neck and that he was completely comfortable with noble’s staring at him.

“How are you doing, Varric?” Jalleran hummed as he approached him, trying to act like he had been but when he was with Varric he felt like his shoulders automatically relaxed.

“Oh the noble’s seem happy to see a dwarf here. Fun amusement I suppose.” He laughed then, “You know, you chose an interesting crew to bring to Orlais, Inquisitor. I would have thought twice about bringing a Qunari and a Dwarf if I was already an Elf.” He kept chuckling.

“I didn’t particularly care how they would judge my own court and accompaniments” He laughed with him, “Don't suppose you have any advice?”

“Eh, might want to check on Sparkler soon, he IS a Tevinter mage in a palace full of Orlesian Noble’s”

“And that’s.. Bad” He huffed. Of course it was bad, Tevinter was apparently bad to everyone. Okay it was bad to him too, it sounded awful and horrible and a place where they’d shackle him. He didn’t consider Dorian part of that though, but everyone else did.

Varric laughed again, “Yes, your Inquisitorialness, it’s bad. I’m just saying, this might be the most ass he’s felt in a while. Oh wait” and he laughed again which made Jall go beet red and immediately turn away, leaving the howls of laughter behind him. 

Brushing off that comment, he composed himself and made his way to the ball room where he was going to be announced. Gaspard was appearing everywhere and he was already tired of seeing his stupid pointed nosed mask. That might just be his anxiety and annoyance coming out though. 

As he made his way down the stairs once his name was announced, he walked slowly across the dance floor towards the Empress where she bowed towards him. This was honestly the most uncomfortable he ever felt with everyone’s eyes on him as he made his way at a leisurely pace, though he wished he could just run and get it over with.

He waited at the bottom of the other steps as his companions were announced, glancing behind him as Dorian was announced in particular. He felt his face go right back to the searing warmth from before when he saw Dorian all dressed up. He must not have been paying enough attention before or Dorian added more to the outfit but he looked amazing.

He probably knew that though by the way he smirked at Jalleran’s gaping. 

Jall cleared his throat as he turned back and went to the stairs to address the Empress. He was as polite as he could be, or at least what he thought what he learned was polite, until the Empress dismissed him away to talk later while she attended to more guests.

Leliana gave him a run down of the situation and the places to look once the introductions were over, and he made his way to the rest of companions to check on them. Josephine’s sister was a riot to talk to as Jalleran exaggerated many stories about the Inquisition to her. The way she lit up and clapped excitedly at him when he did was amazing and he might make Josephine invite her over to Skyhold as an order.

Cullen was being flirted with left and right, which was hilarious as well. Leliana in her own place was staring at everyone’s shoes and honestly it was endearing and also scary how much she could tell just from a noble’s shoes.

Iron Bull was horking down more food once Jalleran had approached him.

“They burn your throat, boss, it’s AMAZING.” He said.

Jall did try one of the spiced candies Bull offered, and it was definitely burning his throat. How Iron Bull was able to swallow twenty at a time was beyond him.

Leaving Iron Bull to his appetite, Jalleran made his way out to the garden where he saw Dorian nursing a glass of wine away from a large group of noble’s. He chuckled gently at the sight and went over to him, trying not to gape at him like a teenager again.

“Enjoying the wine?” He mused as he approached the man, flashing him a smile.

“Oh of course not. Orlesian wine is barely preferable to Tevinter or even Ferelden beer” He huffed in response, “but it will have to do” and he finished off his half full glass of wine. 

“I can see you’re practically spitting it out on a noble at this rate” He chuckled at him, “Try not to get too drunk while we’re here, we do have things to do”

“You ask so much of me” Dorian smirked, setting his glass aside, “You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were uncomfortable here”

“Me? Uncomfortable? No, I love being in an expensive building where everyone judges how I walk with my right foot first instead of my left” He rolled his eyes but laughed with Dorian at the comment, “Sorry to bring you into this though… I’m sure this is just as unpleasant”

“Why, the mighty inquisitor is worried about a lowly Tevinter mage??” He chuckled again, “How scandalous”

“A little less worried now” He snarked back, crossing his arms, “And if the Inquisitor said that you looked positively dashing in that outfit..” He smiled, “What would you sa--”

“Inquisitor Lavellan!” A noble piped up and cut off Jalleran from his sentence. He groaned internally and turned to see a group of five noble’s waving him over. He sighed and went over to them without another glance at Dorian from a feeling of embarrassment creeping on him.

“Yes, my lady?” He hummed as he approached the group, looking at the woman who called on him.

“Oh I just wanted to see you for myself properly! I could only see your ears from all the way over here!” She spoke as if it was a compliment to comment on his overly large ears, smiling big under her mask.

“Of course, you have much bigger ears compared to most elves I've seen” another noble added, scratching his chin idly, “Must be why you’re in charge”

“Don’t be stupid, good sir. Tell me, Inquisitor, who did you belong to before the conclave?” 

Jalleran thought his head was about to explode as his cheeks became warm, he wanted to reach up and cover his ears in an act of self-consciousness but he resisted, “U-Uh well actually no one, I wasn’t a slave. I was part of Clan--”

“You’re a Dalish! How did they ever expect you to know how to act in court?” A noble huffed, looking annoyed.

“He’s been doing just fine, actually, but I have yet to see him dance.”

“HAH a dalish dancing with us?” 

“He’s the Inquisitor, show some respect!”

Jalleran could feel his knees begin to shake under him as the noble’s bickered among themselves. His heartbeat felt like it would burst out of his chest just to run away from the situation and his lungs began aching as his breath quickened. 

“He hasn’t completely destroyed Thedas. The Inquisition just needs him as a face to the public, otherwise he doesn’t contribute” One noble commented.

“He stopped the breach from growing! He has a very big role, he just has to have his hand held for the public”

“Oh don’t be silly, an elf is helpless when it comes to these things!”

Don’t cry, this was fine, just calm down, and you can address them properly.

“Then why doesn’t he prove his might. Inquisitor, why don’t you join me for a dance?” The noble woman held out her hand for him, smirking.

That did it for him, he was just about to collapse from the panic of her offer, embarrassing himself forever and ruining their mission here. The weight of it all suddenly crushed him as he began to hyperventilate, the prospect of not embarrassing himself moving further and further from the realm of possibility when he felt a presence approaching from behind, Josephine and Dorian had approached together, on either side of him. 

“Please soothe yourself. The Inquisitor will have plenty of time to dance with you after he attends to other guests” Josephine piped in, causing the noble woman to lower her offered hand.

“The Inquisitor has been here quite long enough to dance with us, hasn’t he? The music just started, it’s the perfect time!” The noble woman argued, “Can’t a simple elf fulfill that request?”

“I believe he’s more than a simple elf, my dear lady. Perhaps you’d like to remember who you’re talking to?” Dorian raised an eyebrow at her, “He’d have better luck getting a position in the Magisterium than you have of getting a dance with him”

The woman held her chest as she looked absolutely scandled, “I don’t have to take this from some Tevinter magister who probably has the Inquisitor chained!” She huffs and walks away, her group of nobles following behind her.

Jalleran glared after her at that one, crossing his arms as his panic moved into more annoyance and anger but he quickly cooled it down as he looked at them, “Thanks, I… don’t know what I would have done without you two”

Josephine sighed, patting his shoulder, “Of course, Inquisitor, let me make sure she isn’t too insulted and everything is well” she smiled, walking off after the nobles.

“Please do tell me if I should loosen the chains on your wrists, my dear” Dorian snorted, rounding himself to stand in front of Jalleran, giving him a gentle smile.

The Inquisitor laughed at that one, “Oh I’m fine, my dear magister,” He smiled in return with amusement, “I suppose I should get used to the nobles putting me in the spotlight…” He sighed. 

“You’ve been dealing with nobles parading around Skyhold’s halls for months now, I’m sure you’ll manage. Besides, you have one dashing mage right there when it’s all over,” Dorian began to walk away as he felt the glances starting to fleet back towards the Inquisitor and himself.

Jall reached over and grabbed his arm before he could leave, pulling him close so they were mere inches apart from one another, “I hope you know I expect us to dance after all this…” He raised his eyebrows at him.

Though the threat of more court judgement was prominent, Dorian didn’t pull away. He only laughed, leaning in closer to fake going in for a kiss, “Such demands. How could I say no?~” He winked before pulling away to go back to his wine.

The elf watched him go with a twinge of sadness, but knew they’d be at each other’s sides again when the threat arose. He cleared his throat and left the garden before he accidentally heard the whispers about what just happened. At least he was confident enough to do that at all with Dorian. He was bordering on not giving two shits what the nobles do about his actions, but Josie would be way too disappointed if he acted out.

He kept his chin up and tried to keep his politeness unwavered despite the multiple snarky and racist comments thrown in his direction. He felt so self conscious by the end of conversations that he debated just kidnapping the damn Empress and bringing her to Skyhold to protect her. 

By the time he snooped through the library and found more letters to nobles, the first bell was ringing and he made his way back to the hall. Then he met the occult advisor, Morrigan. She was as sly as she was beautiful, her grace when deliberating with him was something he envied. Giving him the key to the servant’s quarters, he made his way towards it.

Finally FINALLY he was able to put his armor back on and get his staff ready once telling his companions to meet him. This at least would release some of his frustration if they ran into trouble.

“Shame, the armor doesn’t accentuate your... assets nearly as much” Dorian chided once he walked into the quarters in his own armor.

“I could say the same thing about you. But actually, you just always look good” Jalleran mumbled the last hard, averting his eyes.

Dorian only laughed, “Oh I know, do not worry your pretty little head”

“Keep it in your pants, boys, we have a job to do here. I want to bash around some assassins” Iron Bull huffed as he made his way into the room, holding his large hammer with a tightened grip that suggested he definitely wasn’t kidding, “They ran out of those spiced nuts, I’m ready to take that out on someone.”

Varric rounded into the doorway, seeming relieved, “We can take our time, Tiny, the more time here, the more we can stay out of those ridiculous outfits”

“You two just can’t be fashionable for more than an hour can you? Enjoy it!” Dorian mused, flicking his hand at them.

“Quiet, pretty boy, let’s just go” Iron Bull snapped, going on ahead of them.

“Bull, wait, we do still want to be somewhat subtle!” Jalleran called after him, running into the kitchens to catch up with him.

The servant’s quarters were less than ideal with all the dead bodies and Venatori, but at least The Iron Bull sounded satisfied when they left to get dressed back up. Just in time, the second bell rang out around the palace and Jalleran made his back to the ballroom.

Florianne was there to greet him, and the one thing he was dreading the whole time finally happened. She bowed as she requested a dance with him, and he knew this is a dance he would not be able to deny. This was too important, and she could have information. Besides, she was right that no spies would be listening in as they danced.

It was time to see if Dorian was actually a good teacher in the long run.

He gently grabbed her hand to accept the dance, leading her gracefully down the stairs to the dance floor. It was as Dorian said, simple, and she had taken the lead so he was free to follow the steps she set. As she whispered questions to him, he answered with alarming grace he didn’t know he had. He kept it discreet, nonchalant, barely giving away details and asking the occasional question back. He wished Iron Bull was nearby to tell him what Florianne could possibly be thinking or feeling. 

As they spun around the dance floor, he kept fleeting his gaze at the edges of the room where the nobles were watching them. So far he hadn’t fallen, which was good. He spotted Dorian among them, the sly mage had a small smile on his face as he looked back at Jalleran. The elf would have to tease him for that doe eyed look later, but right now it washed over him like a warm hug, and he just wanted to run to that smug man.  
Florianne led them away as they ended their conversation, despite Jall’s inability to keep up at the end due to a certain man. He followed competently next to her however, taking note of the spot she wanted him to check in the Royal Wing she believed to have suspicious activity going on. He simply bowed as she took her leave. He watched her go, then looked around to spot Dorian again. He didn’t bother to wave him over, only started speed walking up the stairs from the ballroom to meet him.

That’s when the universe decided he was being too competent tonight, and he slipped on the last step, slamming against the tiled ground and hitting his chin. The world went white for a split second before he could regain his focus and realize Dorian was trying to help him to his feet. He accepted Dorian’s efforts and pulled himself up with him to regain his balance, “I guess the night was going too well for too long” He mumbled as he squinted in concentration. The world was still spending.

“Kaffas, you’re lucky you didn’t lose any teeth!” Dorian rolled his eyes, pulling out a rag from his pocket to wipe a stripe of blood off of Jalleran’s chin, “I’m beginning to think those stories you’ve told about your scars are just inspiration from Varric’s tales. How many of them are actually from you slipping?” 

He snorts at that, “I swear they’re real stories and I still have more” He paused then cleared his throat, “Okay maybe one or two are from me slipping but not all of them”

Dorian finished cleaning up the scrape on his chin and stuffed the rag back in his pocket, “Of course they are. And I’m sure you’ll enthrall me with the stories later” He chuckled, “Now please tell me we’re close to being able to leave, Inquisitor.”

“I think so.. Florianne wants us to snoop around the Royal Wing. Ready to walk into a trap?” He smiled at him.

“Ah yes, throwing ourselves into harm's way with the prospect of it all coming together in the end? Practically how I fell for you,” He smiled.

“Oh is that right? Good thing my whole life is dangerous now then!” 

Jall took his hand and pulled him towards where they needed to go next, ignoring the scandalized looks of those they passed. He heard the faint whispers of judgement and it only made him tighten his hold on Dorian. Seriously, fuck these nobles.

\----

As Jall predicted, it was a trap. A rift had been glowing, demons and Venatori everywhere, and Florianne was Corypheus’s follower. Honestly, he wasn’t even surprised anymore. He took great haste in closing the rift after disposing of the demons. They had enough evidence gathered through their snooping that they could defeat Florianne and put the proper person on the throne.

Jalleran knew he didn’t have anyone’s real approval in this court after how things went, and when Florianne was about to kill Celene, he decided to just take action. No one would listen to a “simple elf” if he tried to confront her. The others were right beside him as they stormed to push Florianne away from Celene and defeat her in battle.

Which wasn’t easy, surprisingly, but they managed. They always do when they throw themselves at the problem, yes? At last when it was all over, he was pulled aside with Briala, Celene, and Gaspard. Their bickering was giving him a migraine he knew wouldn’t go away for weeks.

“HEY listen!” Jall snapped at all of them, not at all taking note of their shocked expression, “Gaspard betrayed you, Briala and I found the evidence that shows his treachery to the throne.”

“Briala..?” Celene glanced at her elven lover with a sparkle in her eyes, “You did that for me?”

“Celene..” Briala smiled at her, nodding, “I did… I would do anything to protect you”

Gaspard scowled at them, “The throne should be mine, I am the rightful owner! This means nothing!” He spat.

But that wasn’t nearly enough as Celene ordered the guards to take Gaspard away, glaring after him while holding Briala’s hand. It almost made Jall smile at how close they became in a single evening, but right now he was just tired. They announced the future to the Orlesians and thanked him personally. He excused himself politely once everything seemed to be settled. 

The rest of the ball was just awkward.. Though people were seeming to take more kindly to him since they saw his heroics for themselves. He was polite, thanked them for their praise, and Iron Bull even pushed his way through the crowd to clap his back in a roar of laughter while having a tray of candies in his hand.

The worst of it was just that he couldn’t find Dorian through all the chaos.

He managed to slip away to take a breather on a balcony. This whole day was just… long… He felt like breaking down, but the sound of heels behind him had him looking up to see Morrigan approaching him.

She was just as suave and graceful as she spoke to him. He traded quips with her which felt lighter than anything that’s happened, and gladly accepted her news that she would join him at Skyhold to help against Corypheus. It felt like it would be nice to have her around, even despite her blunt attitude. 

He watched her saunter away back to the party, and turned back to the night sky in front of him. It was peacefully quiet by himself as he fiddled with his gloves. The whole world seemed to shake around him as he felt the weight of the day dispersing off his shoulders. It was a success, that’s what mattered. It would be okay.

Despite his own reassurance, he put his face in his hands to try and stop himself from crying. He still felt overwhelmed, and he just wanted to leave already.

Before he could gather himself to find his companions and leave, gentle hands came up to pull his hands away and he looked up to see Dorian beaming at him with his winning smile, “You know, everyone has been clamouring to meet you since you’re now a hero in their eyes. I told a few of them you were occupied. You’re welcome.” 

“Occupied?” He chuckled at him, holding onto his hands properly, “By what? The wind? Typical Dalish elf yes?” He smiled.

“Oh no no, nothing like that!” Dorian tutted, “Shall I give you another guess?”

“Hmm..” Jall pouted in contemplation as he rubbed idle circles on Dorian’s hands with his thumbs, “I’m at a loss”

“ME of course” The man sounded truly offended, pulling one hand away to press it to his chest to emphasize his hurt, “What else could you ever be occupied with?”

“Well silly me then. I’ve hurt the evil magister’s feelings” He smirked at him, “What ever will I do to make it up to you?”

“Stop overthinking a successful day of heroics would be a start” Dorian smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to Jalleran’s lips. Jall easily leaned into it and returned the kiss, taking his time to savor it. Dorian tasted like cranberry wine and chocolate, which he was sure was the only thing the man was consuming for the past hours of idly standing in the same spot. He wanted to stay like this, with Dorian pressed against him and the world waiting patiently in the other room for them. Unfortunately time didn’t work like that.

When they slowly pulled away from it after what seemed like hours, Dorian immediately pulled him to the center of the balcony and put Jall’s hands in the same position they were in when he learned to dance, his hand on Dorian’s hip and the other grasping his hand. It felt closer this time, more intimate as they unconsciously pressed against each other's chests. 

“And what’s this?” Jall wondered out loud, tilting his head at Dorian.

“You’re not terribly good at this, are you? I’m trying to fulfil your insistent request from earlier. Let’s dance, Amatus” Dorian raises his eyebrows expectantly for a reaction.

Which Jalleran gave with a light hearted chuckle. More of a giggle, but that’s besides the point, “Oooh I see. Lead the way then, my darling” He quipped, straightening up to prepare.

Dorian only rolled his eyes dramatically and led them both into an easy swaying dance. Nothing like the dance with Florianne, it was only a couple steps and a few turns. It was easy and comfortable and he could actually watch Dorian while they danced. His face seemed soft and relaxed as he stared back, his eyes gave away all the admiration he felt for Jalleran. 

It made the elf want to tear up right then and there, but he knew it would ruin the moment for Dorian so he resigned himself to lead his head on Dorian’s shoulder as they swayed. The man adjusted to allow him this, leaning his own head on Jalleran’s as he sighed in contentment, “You’re so sappy, my dear. It’s only a dance”

“Shoosh, I’m trying to enjoy my request” He smiled, burying his nose in the crook of Dorian’s neck as if he was about to fall asleep there. Which he very much wanted to.

Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it wasn't boring, I had fun making little moments! It wasn't anything big that happened it just normal little interactions over a long period of time i suppose!


	5. Jall is Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jalleran disappears quite suddenly

“Inquisitor, we need you to look over these reports for the Hissing Wastes. It needs your utmost attention”

“Everything on this desk apparently does” Jalleran grumbled half heartedly as he took the report from the scout and added it to his pile. Ever since arriving back from the Winter Palace, the panic across Thedas seemed to create more and more work for the Inquisition. Not that that was a surprise, it was just exhausting.

He thanked the scout as they walked out of his room and started to work again. At the very least, he didn’t mind not being thrown at bears and dragons for a couple days, but Creators could this be just as painful. 

Working on the reports for a little longer, he finally let out a long sigh and picked up a handful of reports and his quill to pack them away in a bag, then walked out to the balcony of his room. He looked around then climbed on top of the rail that was just tall enough to help him reach the rim of the roof above him. He reached up to grab it.

“What in Maker’s name are you doing??” Dorian called from inside the room, rushing out onto the balcony, “Amatus, I hope you know these aren’t trees!” 

“I’m just trying to work in a place with a view!” Jall argued, crossing his arms while remaining on the balcony’s edge.

“And is there a problem with just working on the balcony?” He raised his eyebrows at him, tapping his foot impatiently at the elf.

Jall just rolled his eyes, lowering himself to sit instead, “I go up there all the time, it’s fine, Dorian”

“ALL the time? I’d rather not see a splattered Herald in Skyhold's garden, yes?” He almost pouted, looking rather concerned, “You already throw yourself in danger enough”

“It’s basically my job description now..” Jall sighed, hopping off the railing, “I’m sorry, okay?”

Dorian looked him over for a few mere moments, considering something before speaking, “Are you alright, my dear..?”

The Inquisitor frowned at this, averting his gaze to different corners of the architecture as he sauntered his way back into the room, “I don’t know.. Just tired I guess. Things have been very hectic around me lately. More than usual anyway”

“You have to be taking better care of yourself though! You’ve barely been eating recently and honestly you could take care to sleep in more! I know you have very important things you need to do, but no one says you have to wake up as soon as the sun is even remotely above the horizon!” Dorian rambles, obviously worried as he walks over to a bedside table where a tray of food he brought up rested. 

It was soup and bread, and by the smell it was Jall’s favorite; goat stew. There were different cheeses to go along with the bread as well, and both the stew and the bread were steaming with its freshness. Dorian glanced over to him and it caused him to avert his eyes from the food. He hadn’t eaten all day and the sun was beginning to set, and the hunger mixed with his lack of sleep made everything too exhausting to even think about doing unless it was productive. The irritation under his skin was itching as Dorian continued to fuss about his decreasing care of his own well-being. He knew all this, but the fact it was suddenly being thrown at him, even from Dorian, was overwhelming.

“Come and eat, Jall…” Dorian almost pleaded as he set the tray of food down on his desk away from his papers, “You need at least a small break to feed yourself”

He shook himself away from his cascading thoughts, resigning himself to listen and sit down at the desk, beginning to slowly eat the food. It felt like his stomach resisting even when he felt so hungry.

“Dorian… You really don’t need to worry about me this much… I think I do that enough for both of us” He tried to laugh, biting his lip to quiet it as Dorian gave him a disapproving glare.

“I can’t just watch you neglect yourself! And don’t tell me I’m the only one worrying, Varric and Josephine have been just as frantic about it. Varric kept trying to take the reports before they reached you and Josephine ended up taking care of multiple nobles who were looking for you with claimed importance for your company. You have more people that care about you, my dear..” Dorian finished, his posture seeming more relaxed now as he stared at Jalleran intently, “I hope you realize that”

Jall only stared back at him, contemplating his words. Varric and Josephine were fretting too? He didn’t mean to make them worry so much, “I don’t need them to intercept like that! I can handle the work I’m getting! Do you think--?”

The man pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to remain calm, but Jalleran shrunk a bit in his chair as he saw the obvious frustration in the man’s expression. Dorian took a deep breath before continuing, “No, you’re doing fantastically. But you’re still working yourself too hard. Kaffas, you must know how exhausted you look!”

He really didn’t, he only felt the weight on his eyelids and the pain in his stomach despite it filling up with bread and stew. Dorian’s words seemed to only bounce off of him as his mind whirled. He rubbed his eyes to try and shake the wave of exhaustion, “I.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you all.. I was just trying to help.”

“Everyone knows that… But they also understand you’re living and breathing like them and that you need some time to recuperate and rest... “ Dorian tried to say gently, the concern he had contorted his eyebrows as he sat down on Jall’s bed, “At least go easy for the rest of the evening… It’s almost sunset” 

Jall sighed after finishing off his stew, wiping his mouth. He stood and made his way to the bed, laying down and welcoming the soft pillows and blankets. He instantly felt his tired mind take hold, only barely conscious as Dorian attempted to tuck him into the blankets. 

“Okay..” 

\----

Dorian had fallen asleep next to Jalleran after finishing his own studies for the night on the elf’s desk. Why he didn’t decide to invade the room to sleep more often was always beyond him as soon as he slipped next to him at night. Everything just felt right when he was there, to help the other rest and find peace through the chaos.The elf might not know it, but he does the same thing for Dorian.

Peaceful moments through all this chaos.

As the sun beamed into the room and hit Dorian’s face though, the peaceful comfort slowly melted away as he reached across the bed and felt only empty space. He blinked his eyes open, adjusting to the direct sunlight.   
He found no one beside him which caused him to sigh, knowing that Jalleran was probably working himself to the bone once again. It was frustrating, he just wanted Jall to rest… His eyes had tired bags under them ever since the Palace, and he knew he had fed a lot of his meals to the ravens. It was unacceptable the way he was treating himself.

He rose from the bed and quickly got dressed up in his robes, looking around the room one more time to check for Jalleran and feeling his creeping worry at no sight of the elf. Dorian took a deep breath and walked out of the quarters, deciding to go straight to Varric.

“Morning, Sparkler. The boss still running around frantically?” Varric smiled as Dorian approached him next to the fireplace.

“No I-- Well is he? I haven’t seen him this morning, I was hoping you knew where he was..” He admitted, an awful feeling starting to hit his stomach like a boulder.

Varric’s smirk morphed into his own frown as he scratched his head, “I saw him running off this morning, he stuttered something about important business nearby but that’s it. I haven’t seen him since.”

The man paced a little back and forth, trying to put the pieces together. Jalleran could be overwhelmed and hide somewhere, in which case he’d be back later. But Jall usually doesn’t mind making that clear when he leaves… So it would be odd he didn’t tell Varric at least. Considering last night, something was definitely wrong. 

“I suppose I’ll check his usual places, this is… worrying” He says simply. 

Varric nodded at him in understanding, “I’ll check with Ruffles, and see if anyone has seen him. Try not to create alarm with anyone though. Might look bad if we can’t find our leader,” and then he walked off in haste. 

Checking the usual places was easier said than done. Jalleran had a habit of finding the most difficult to get to places to hide out in when things got to be too much. Dorian found his own way to these places, but it still gave him reason to pant from the effort. He tried the rooftops that Jall hid parchment that he liked to fold into different things. Skyhold’s garden trees had a saddening lack of an elf in them as well, the kitchen rafters had no sign of him, Leliana had even seen nothing of him this morning but told him she’d have her scouts on the look out, and the tavern’s top floor only homed it’s usual spirit who didn’t seem to acknowledge Dorian when he came up to look.

He was starting to feel sick with how much worry was crashing over him. He kept a calm stature though as he walked down through the tavern, knowing that Jall couldn’t have gone far for too long without anyone knowing… right?

Dorian rounded the bottom of the last set of stairs, walking straight to Bull, “Bull, have you seen the Inquisitor?”

“Having a lover’s spat?” Bull laughed as he downed a drink that was in his hand. Dorian scrunched his nose in response; it was still the morning and why Iron Bull was drinking right now was beyond him.

“No. We cannot find him..” He tried to whisper, “He rushed off this morning and Varric doesn’t know where he went,”

“Does Leliana?” He prompted, “I mean if SHE doesn’t even know-”

“She doesn’t” Dorian cut him off, his knees felt weak from under him, “Keep it quiet, I’ll keep looking” and he walked off.

Dorian understood if Jalleran didn’t confide in him if he was afraid, but the fact he didn’t come to any of his closest companions to tell them he was leaving was… not right. Something just wasn’t right.

It didn’t take very long for the word to finally spread that Inquisitor Lavellan was missing. Despite the Inner Circle’s best attempts, rumors were always bound to spread and it’s not as if it’s easy to hide the fact that the leader of an army isn’t around. 

One day; No sign of him. Leliana’s scouts hadn’t even been able to spot him anywhere, and the nobles had already started to spread rumors and gossip about Jalleran being taken by Corypheus.

Two days; Still nothing. Dorian had become a sort of a hypocrite as he worried and could barely do anything else except try and find the elf. Thankfully Bull had noticed and snapped him out of it. If Dorian couldn’t do anything currently, then it was no use to waste away while they all waited for some kind of news. It was obvious to everyone now that Jalleran had left Skyhold, and only scouts and soldiers would be able to send word of his whereabouts. At this point the Inquisition was almost everywhere, it would be hard to miss the Inquisitor walking around… That was the hope at least.

Day Three; Dorian was trying to distract himself from the looming fear hovering over him. His continued research helped this, but everything seemed to bring him back to Jalleran. Anything made his mind backtrack and remember that he is missing and he hasn’t come back yet.

He tried not to get too hopeful as he heard a few ravens fly into the tower to deliver something to Leliana. He’s been making himself disappointed for the last two days when any remote activity above him happened. Leliana understood, he knew that, but it made his heart snap every time the message wasn’t about Jall’s whereabouts. 

This time though, he heard Leliana’s footsteps frantically run as she called for him. He jumped up immediately and quickly met her in the middle of the stairwell between the two floors. She was holding a message from the ravens, and she quickly explained that a scout spotted Jalleran in the trees near the Storm Coast. He didn’t listen anymore after that, and quickly dashed back down the stairs. She had shouted something else at him, trying to get him to return but he didn’t listen.

He grabbed his things and quickly gathered Varric and Bull to go out and look for him. It didn’t take a lot to convince them, considering they were worried off their asses too, though would never admit it. There was no words needed, Dorian had simply nodded at them and they were on their way to grab horses and ride to the Storm Coast. 

\---

The Storm Coast was as uncomfortable and nauseating as any time Dorian comes here with the Inquisitor. The rain was even heavier than usual, sliding down Dorian’s neck and making him shiver profusely. Varric and himself had bundled up even more to try and prevent a lot of the cold and wet from seeping in completely, yet Iron Bull was laughing and joking as they rode through the gravel and trees, completely shirtless still.

Iron Bull would be the death of himself.

The rain really was heavy though, even for the Storm Coast, Dorian noticed. The drops only needed to freeze just a bit more to become hail, and the sheer amount could cause a flood if it kept up. 

“Are we sure the Inquisitor didn’t go somewhere that ISN’T about to drown us??” Varric shouted through the rain, looking miserable. 

“As if any other place wouldn’t have you complaining about it anyway” Iron Bull laughed, still not deterred as a strong gust of wind pushed at their horses.

Dorian could barely hear them, let alone answer them. He squinted as he tried to focus on where they were going through everything. Every time a wind gust pushed at them, it elicited a spark within Dorian that seemed… magical. He couldn’t understand why. The further in they got, the more unnatural everything felt.

Through more of the trees, Dorian called out to a couple scouts who were taking shelter nearby. They looked up at him and made their way through the wet brush to meet him, saluting them as they straighten up, “Master Pavus, Leliana sent word of your arrival”

“Yes yes, do you still know if the Inquisitor is here?” Dorian asked with haste, his anxiety bubbling up.

“We do, all of the scouts in the Storm Coast have been told to keep an eye on him from a distance. However, he went deeper into the woods and some kind of barrier was blocking any of us from following. That was not too long ago, and it’s highly likely he’s still in there”

The mage frowned at this news. A magical barrier? Was Jall that determined to stay hidden in this mystery adventure? What was going through his head? Dorian nodded at the scouts and started to ride through the trees again after they pointed in the direction of the barrier.

“What could the boss be doing in there?” Iron Bull broke the silence between them all, his previous light hearted behavior slowing down as the anxiety washed over all of them.

“Maybe he got some sort of threat that told him to come alone?” Varric tried to guess, his eyebrows furrowed as he shivered in protest.

“That can’t be it, he would tell his little advisors immediately to discuss it…” It has to be something much worse, Dorian added internally.

It seemed to take ages as they rode deeper into the forest, they continued to discuss possibilities between themselves, even if it didn’t help the anxiety, it kept them all on the same page. Something was very wrong, that was the bottom line. The rain and gusts of wind seemed to only increase in intensity as they got closer to the barrier. Dorian could see it now, the pulse of magic in a gap of a line of thick trees and bushes, preventing anyone from going around it. Dorian hopped off his horse, pulling out his staff to attempt to dispel the barrier.

Varric and Bull were at his heels, both holding their own weapons securely in case of danger. As the three of them made their way to meet the barrier, a huge gust of wind almost knocked them completely over. It practically did for Varric, but he and Iron Bull gripped each other to prevent it, as Dorian snaps and casts an armor spell to keep himself steady.

The wind seemed to begin to slow down again as they didn't budge from their spot.

“The fuck is with this?? This place is going nuts” Iron Bull huffed, letting go of Varric after a few moments of assurance.

Dorian touched his hand to the barrier, the rain and slow moving wind still pouring towards them, “It isn’t natural, something is causing the weather to to become extreme,”

“Something? Or someone?” Varric said, almost mumbling the end, but they all knew, they all could guess that someone.

He took a deep breath and magic surged from his hand, effectively dispelling the barrier. It didn’t seem to resist anymore, giving way easily.

They all glanced around at each other, before taking a deep breath and making their way into the deeper part of the forest, tucked into the corner of rocks and mountains, a perfect corner to protect from rain and wildlife. Was Jalleran camping? Taking a sudden vacation? Dorian scoffed at the thought, that would be ridiculous.

But he didn’t want to believe that something bad happened. He really didn’t.

The thicker canopy of all the trees at least protected them from some of the rain. Dorian breathed deeply, trying to feel for where the magic was coming from. An opening in the fade, the thin barrier that Jalleran was, just like him, because of their talents. He thought he felt where the surge was coming from as the wind gushed strong but brief once again, like a warning. The magic was distressing and unstable, but was calming down from the initial extreme.

He headed right towards where he felt it, thinking he would want to go alone, but then doubling back. If Jalleran was in trouble, he would need all of them.

The trees began to thin out as they moved further in, the rain was only a drizzle now, the wind was only a breeze, and they could walk without trouble through the brush.  
A figure could be seen silhouetted against sunlight that was allowed to pour in through the thinning of the clouds. It made Dorian begin to run frantically, the shadow figure becoming clear as they got closer and closer.

Jalleran.

He called out to him, reached out to grab his arm, hug him, embrace him, hit him, SOMETHING. How could he leave just to come out here?? Everybody was worried sick, DORIAN was worried sick! But he was here. He was okay. Bull and Varric called out to try and slow Dorian down, telling him to wait, but it fell on deaf ears as Dorian’s desperation took over to ensure Jall was indeed standing and alive. The Inquisition can easily fall apart without him, there could be no excuse for this--

He stopped in his tracks, his hand a few inches shy of grabbing Jall. He lowered it, his eyes wide with shock as the clearing Jall was standing in front of was noticed. He was so focused on Jalleran he didn’t even notice. The Inquisitor was trembling, his staff had fallen by his feet as he stared, barely acknowledging his companions.

Dorian looked around to try and take in the scene, and it made him freeze. Demons, dead and frozen in ice, burned by fire and lightning, all around. There were destroyed tents, wood crates, weapons everywhere, armor.

Elves. Halla. They were scattered everywhere, lifeless, staring back at them with cold eyes. They were bloody, bruised, cursed, from the demons attack. A fade rift must have opened up and poured on top of them, overwhelming them.

They must not have stood a chance.

Jalleran slowly moved, turning to face Dorian. Dorian met his gaze, unsure of what to do, what to say.

As he met the Inquisitor’s gaze, he saw the puffiness of his eyes, the bruises around his face and neck, his tattered clothes. How did he not see how hurt he was? Oh no, what if he wasn’t even seeing the worst of it, what if--

“I.. I was too late..” Jalleran almost sobbed, tears welling in his eyes all over again, “They’re gone..”

“Is this..?” Dorian started, not even wanting to finish the question.

“My clan.” 

“But how… Jalleran… What happened…?”

Bull and Varric slowly got closer to them, looking just as distraught and unsure of themselves. They all stayed around Jalleran, wanting an explanation, but feeling the grief and sheer emotion of Jall’s shivering tears.

Jall looked away from them, looking shameful and guilty, “I’m sorry I left… I-I got a message from my clan. It was from weeks ago, it got buried with everything else I had… The scout tried to tell me who it was from but.. I wasn't listening..

They’ve been here for weeks. Gone... They asked me to send aid as they made their way into Ferelden… and I--” Jall stopped, choking on his own words.

The three companions didn’t know what to do. They stared near him as he sobbed through his grief, trying to mumble comforts to him to calm him down. 

“Amatus… What do you need from us? We’re here for you..”

“Boss, we can stay as long as you need,” Bull added.

Varric nodded, trying to smile at Jall, even trying a joke, “We got your back, your Inquisitorioulness”

Jall tried to smile back at him, but it was shaky and stressed. He glanced back towards the Lavellan Clan with heartache in his, silent for only a few moments.

“Help me lay them to rest..?” 

\---  
The trip back from The Storm Coast was quiet and reserved. The group had taken time to follow Jall’s lead to give the Clan a proper farewell before they left. Dorian rode next to Jall on their horses, they were almost home, and he wanted to make sure Jall knew he’d be by his side through all of this. His expression was unusually unreadable, and Dorian knew he was most likely too tired to truly process the events.

The Inquisition was of course relieved to see them riding through the gates with their leader in tow. They welcomed him back, and Jall smiled at them in a way that wouldn’t let his real feelings slip. Usually Dorian would keep his distance when it comes to Jall’s face in the eye of the public, but at the moment he forced himself to stay by his side, their hands gripped tightly together. An anchor for both of them.

Cassandra was charging towards them, beginning to give Jall an earful, the advisors joining her after they heard the commotion.

“As much as all this noise is SO helpful, will all of you stop wagging your tongues around??” Dorian interrupted suddenly, getting a look from all of them, “The Inquisitor doesn’t need a lecture.”

They contemplated Dorian’s words before looking back at Jall.

“Inquisitor?”

Jall took a deep breath and explained to the advisors what had happened. He apologized after every third word practically, but his voice was level as he recounted what made him leave so suddenly.

“I know I should have told you all my Clan was in danger. I panicked, I thought it would take too long to get things organized. It was too late anyway… I’m sorry. I’ll get back to work to make up for my absence, it was my fault this happened,”

Cassandra frowned, but shook her head, “No Inquisitor. This was Corypheus’s fault. He was the one who started all this,”

“But I’m meant to protect everyone from the fade rifts that have been opening! If Corypheus caused this, then it’s my fault for not responding fast enough to it” Jall glared, his body shaking with effort.

Everyone stayed silent as they stared at the grieving Inquisitor, broken on the inside and barely staying upright.

Josie steps forward, a look of worry on her face, “Inquisitor… we do not expect you to easily recover from this news… We can hold a proper memorial for your clan. You may recount stories of them to us. We can set aside at least one evening for you, Inquisitor.”

“No no.. I can’t ask that of you. Th-there is still so much to do, this is only a fraction of what has happened to Thedas”

Dorian put his hand on Jall’s shoulder, “Inquisitor.. Let us do this for you.”

It took a lot of convincing, but after the idea of an evening to just relax and support the Inquisitor was passed by the companions, they all gathered to encourage Jalleran to let him take a break. To grieve, to process, and to think of his Clan in a better light.

Even Sera had responded with enthusiasm, “Better be a good story out of it, yeah? Nothing sad, he needs to buck up from his sad little hole”

Dorian had to lecture her to not insult the Inquisitor’s family. He wasn’t sure if it got through to her. Jall was convinced, that was it. All of The Inner Circle got together that evening. They had drinks, they had dinner, and they all listened to Jall as he started to try and remember stories from his Clan. Jall kept them happy, lighthearted, and fun stories, and Dorian had sighed in relief as he saw Jall begin to smile as well.

When Jall began to talk about his Keeper, his face fell again though. 

“They… They basically raised me… Right before I came to the Conclave, when the Clan for some reason just started to resent me… They kept me busy and useful. Learning magic, tracking Halla, anything..” He sighed, but then smiled a bit, “I’ll miss them”

Dorian reached out and squeezed Jall’s hand, the whole table nodding at him and offering condolences. 

The evening came to an end, but Dorian stayed next to Jalleran as the rest of the companions thinned out. It was just the two of them.

As soon as the last one left, Jall reached over and hugged Dorian tightly, burying his face in his shoulder, “I’m sorry I worried you so much…”

The man sighed above him, gently returning the embrace and kissing the top of his head, rubbing small circles on his back to comfort him, “Please, Amatus, it’s alright… I understand.”

Jall stayed in his arms for a long time, Dorian happily holding onto him. Affection swelled in his chest and made his cheeks warm, causing him to bury his nose in Jall’s hair. He felt emotions swell to his eyes as he reminded himself that Jall was okay, he was really safe now. 

And he would continue to make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day ill write a chapter that doesn't end with these two hugging and Jall almost crying


	6. The Companions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jalleran's brief interactions with some of the companions. He doesn't know a lot about the world, and tries to pick up what he can.

Jalleran stepped out of Haven’s… what was the word again? Chantry yes? He was trying to pick up on the words everyone used to describe the buildings, unaccustomed to the environment. He had spoken to Josiephine inside before leaving, having just gotten out of the War Room to discuss the stance they should take. She was incredibly considerate for him, speaking patiently about any question he had about… well anything.

“Do tell me if anyone is giving you a more difficult time, Jalleran,” She had said

Jall had looked at her very confused, scratching at his scalp before responding with, “Why would they give me a difficult time? Because of the mark?”

Josie had pursed her lips and agreed to the suggestion, though Jall was still confused and left it at that. He still didn’t know what she meant.

He could barely keep up with everything, unbelieving that he was in the middle of it all. He looked down at his glowing hand, grimacing at the sight as it lit up and crackled. He tried to ignore the ache that bloomed from it upwards through his forearm, knowing that would not go away anytime soon. He had tried healing magic to ease some of it, but it did nothing. He sighed, heading down the slope of Haven to try and find something to occupy himself. 

Varric looked up from his fire as he rounded a corner from the stairs. He smiled at Jall, which made him relax to see a warm expression instead of a hopeless one from everyone else around him. Varric seemed to be the most friendly face out of everyone he’s met so far, which he was grateful for.

“So.. now that Cassandra’s out of earshot, are you holding up alright?” Varric began as Jall approached, “I mean you go from the most wanted criminal in Thedas to leading an army of the faithful. Most people would have… spread that out over more than one day?” He mused.

Jalleran chuckled light heartedly at that, fiddling with his gloves, “I don’t know, maybe my life was so uneventful that the universe had to pack all the stuff I missed into one day” 

It was Varric’s turn to laugh, “The Maker really does have a sense of humor, then”

“You um… You all talk about this uh, Maker a lot… Is he important? Is he like Dalish Creators?” Jall questioned awkwardly, feeling lost.

“Dalish don’t learn about what humans believe? I figured they would have just so they can debunk the ideas” 

“I mean they might? I honestly wasn’t a very good listener when it came to learning from my elders” He smiled nervously, “You don’t have to tell me, I’m just not sure how to follow when everyone keeps calling me… what was it? Herald of Andraste?”

“Mhm, well, all you need to know is The Maker and Andraste are the big holy symbols out here, and The Chantry would have us believe that they are the messengers and servants of them” Varric sniffed, crossing his arms. He seemed like he was holding back on something else entirely.

Jall only smiled and nodded, “That makes sense at least. I uh, am trying to keep up with it all.”

“You’ll do fine, Herald” He joked, “You’re not dead yet, so let’s celebrate that” 

Jalleran liked Varric, he seemed like he was just as tired as he was though. There was probably something that really led to Varric being here besides Cassandra. He was curious, but knew he shouldn’t pester. He said farewell and headed over to where he knew Solas had made his presence occupied. Talking to everyone was helping Jall get into a more relaxed state before he’d have to leave for The Hinterlands.

In his honesty, Jalleran was glad a fellow elf was in his Inner Circle, not knowing if anyone else would be able to relate with him about the situation. Knowing he did little to be close with his Clan, he felt a slight excitement of the prospect of trying again as he approached the fellow elf.  
Solas had quipped back and forth with him pretty quickly, both making a few jokes back and forth about the situation. Solas joked mostly about the fact he was an elven mage in the middle of a bunch of humans, during a rebellion. Jall was still confused as he emphasized “elven”.

“Is it bad that we’re elves?” He frowned, “Josephine said others might treat me differently. I thought she meant the mark at first.”

Solas had the same expression Josephine made when he asked, which made him increasingly nervous all over again, “I see that your clan didn’t teach you a lot on elven history?”

“They… did” He relayed the same explanation he gave to Varric about his inability to pay attention to his Keeper.

“I see” Solas took a deep breath, “We can save an actual lesson for another time, but we are definitely not looked highly upon. Elven people have had their plights when it comes to humans” He tried to say calmly. The tensing of his jaw gave enough away on its own.

Jall nodded, rocking on his heels, “You must know a lot more about elven history. You said you traveled the fade? Do you have an opinion on Elven History then?” He chided curiously.

Solas snorted, placing his hands on his hips, “I would expect a Dalish to want to talk about his people more.” He quipped back, almost venomously. It made Jall flinch.

“I… only know a little, like I said. Do.. You have a problem with Dalish? You’re an elf though.” He was very confused.

“Dalish are children acting out a fantasy they deem history. Truth be told, I am most certainly glad you did not retain any information about this so-called history. I can give you a much better understanding of it later.” He promised, though the way he squinted his eyes at Jall made him cringe. 

“Right.. I won’t press you further currently though,” Jall responded, nodding a farewell before leaving. Well that could have been better… Between Solas being bitter towards Dalish and everyone giving him strange looks since he got to Haven, he didn’t feel much better at all now.

\----

Truthfully, Jalleran felt very uncomfortable being the one to lead the group around Thedas. Whenever he chose his companions, he does so with an awkward rock of his heels and a pained smile. Varric and Cassandra were always patient with him, while Solas disregarded it and agreed immediately when Jall finally got the question out. As he helped recruit more people, he tried to become more familiar with being the one to make choices for all of them out on the field.

He was grateful the advisors were there to help keep his head on straight during war meetings.

They had several new faces to join them on expeditions after they had gone to Val Royeaux to speak to the Chantry; Blackwall a so called Grey Warden, The Iron Bull, a qunari mercenary, Sera, an elf Jall had been excited to meet, and Vivienne, a mage in a very fancy home that Jall was immensely intimidated by.

Blackwall’s presence made him curious, having never heard of the Grey Wardens before Leliana had approached him. He decided he wanted to try and find out more, heading towards where Blackwall stood by the Blacksmith’s area. He began politely, awkwardly talking about how the rift felt big and impossible above them. 

“Honestly, you weren’t what I suspected. I thought you would be um..” Blackwall comments, trailing off as he scratches at his beard awkwardly.

Jall only gave him a confused look, not picking up what he was leading into. Solas’s conversation from before came to him which made him take a guess, “Human?”

The other man chuckled, “Yes.”

“I really didn’t think it would be a problem until I started talking to everyone, but at least you’re up front about it.” He smiled.

“Ah it was a foolish thought, it’s how you decide to help the Inquisition that really matters,” Blackwall finished with, trying to return the smile towards Jalleran. 

Jall tried to lead into more questions about The Grey Wardens. Blackwall had responded with very general answers, not really getting into a lot of details which made Jalleran grow slowly uneasy around him. He understood the general sense of it though, and bid the burly man farewell.

He hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to Sera before they were supposed to leave for another expedition, so he decided to take her along, as well as Solas and Iron Bull, wanting to know each of them a bit more.

Iron Bull had quickly become someone he liked, sassing back and forth with Sera and howling with laughter at any opportunity. It lifted his spirits, and he ended up chatting with Bull back and forth through their trek.

As they make their way up the inclines of The Hinterlands, in search of Templars, Solas and Sera begin making comments back and forth.

“Pbbbbthhh!!” Sera responds to Solas’s attempt at elvhen towards her, wagging her elbows like a chicken at him.

“Excuse me?” Solas looked cross as he stared at her.

“Excuse yourself! What you said and what I did, same difference to me!” 

“I had hoped… Well, sometimes elves can feel the rhythm of the language, despite lacking the vocabulary.”

“Uhuh. You know what else is good? Words that mean things. Like these: wooooords!” Sera quipped back.

Jall bit his lip, glancing back at her, “Do you not know anything about elven people at all?” He asked curiously.

“What? Oh, no, whatever, I’m not one of ‘em. Well I am, sorta, but not really. I’m a person, a friggin person! I don’t care about all that whatcha ma-call it history. We’re here to stop idiots from being idiots, not talk about how nice it is to have longer ears than other people!” Sera ranted back, crossing her arms in protest.

Solas mumbled something else in Elvhen as Jalleran turned away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Bull came up next to him and patted him on the back, smiling down at him, “C’mon the camp is up ahead, boss. Let’s kick some ass,”

Jall very enthusiastically agreed, wanting to be doing something other than talking now.

\---

Everything seemed to be getting worse around here. No matter his attempts at a peaceful resolve with these groups, he finds it leads to something even more catastrophic. A fine example would be his attempt to make peace with his fellow mages, only to be flustered to the moon and back by Dorian who showed up quite suddenly, and then thrust into the future itself with him.

It was miraculous he survived. Again. He hoped that luck wouldn’t run out.

Since preparations were now underway for the last attempt at closing the breach, he made his rounds with his companions to talk about the situation. He talked sparingly with Vivienne and Blackwall, but enjoyed his time more with Varric, Bull, and Josephine. They eased his nerves quite easily.

Realizing he still hasn’t actually had a normal conversation with Dorian, outside of disasters and life threatening situations, he turned his footsteps towards where he saw him standing earlier. 

Jall noticed he was wearing leather bound straps all around his body, but his shoulder was bare against the snow of the mountains of Haven. He raised an eyebrow, walking over to the man.

“Aren’t you cold, Dorian?” He mused, approaching him with a kind smile.

“Absolutely freezing, thank you for reminding me,” he shuddered, though returned the smile ten fold, making Jalleran’s cheeks warm at the sight of it.

He cleared his throat, “Well, one disaster into another, you still want to stay here?” He tried to joke light heartedly.

Dorian chuckled, “Of course, disaster comes with the job, yes? The real question is, are you okay with me being here?” He questioned.

Yet another comment that made Jalleran utterly confused. Was this about the elf and human thing again?? “Why wouldn’t I be..?” He asked back, just in case.

“A mage from Tevinter? Nothing of that makes you uncomfortable? Shocking, I am here to help after all.” 

“And I appreciate your help, Dorian, really I do.” Jall was blushing again.

“Excellent. Mutual appreciation is a great place to start. I will not shackle you, you have my solemn vow.” Dorian crossed his arms, his tone joking, though his face fell when Jall’s own expression went back to confused.

“Shackle me? I would hope you wouldn’t do that…? Do… Humans usually do that to elves?” Jall guessed, his ears flicked downwards at the idea, rubbing at his wrists awkwardly. 

“I thought the knowledge of Tevinter owning slaves was common knowledge. You are from the Free Marches, yes? I’d imagine you of all Dalish would know that.” Dorian frowned.

“Slaves?” Jall repeated, a small pinch of fear hugging his heart, “Elves were enslaved? Are enslaved?”

Before Dorian could respond to the now fearful elf, Varric rounded up next to the pair, his hand on Jalleran’s arm, “Hey whoa, let’s not touch on that subject right now. Not really the time, right?” Varric eyed Dorian as if to warn him of something.

Dorian looked at Jalleran with a growing concern, “Of course, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable, Dear Herald”

Jall took a deep breath, his nerves calming themselves as Varric stood beside him, “It’s fine, really. I’m still learning a lot is all..” He smiled at Dorian, “I’ll head off now, make sure Cassandra isn’t looking for me or something…” He nodded towards the two of them and headed off. He glanced behind after a second to see Dorian staring after him. The elf flushed a red color and turned away again. 

There really was a lot he needed to learn about the world… And what a setting to teach him with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's trying. Though I'm sure everyone feels bad now.

**Author's Note:**

> Jall is dumb


End file.
